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Catch Albi in Action

Albi is America's favorite celebrity. See him fight vicious enemies on his YouTube channel. Click here to check him out.

Here is Albi's Facebook fan page.

I am 'albirabbit' on Instagram.

Monday
Oct082012

No. 7 - International Rabbit Day

A few Saturdays ago was International Rabbit Day. This was decreed to be a day to recognize the importance and power of us rabbits. It is a day where we should be treated like royalty and be petted generously, including lavish head and lower back massages.

Now you might remember that the last time I met up with other rabbits, it didn't go so well. I got all shy and had to go home. But seeing as this was our big day, I knew that this time it would be different, and I would make awesome rabbit friends!

I started off by greeting this guy. "Hi, I like your clothes," I said.

He didn't say anything, but he took off all his clothes and ran away. Then this other rabbit who looked like a little version of me but with short ears came over and started looking at me.  She tried to crouch down real low to hide, but I saw her. "Um, hi," I said. But she didn't say anything back to me.

I started to feel confused and a little nervous. This wasn't what I expected International Rabbit Day to be like. So I figured I'd take a break and played in the garden by myself. Look, I have a green moustache! I'm in disguise!

What is this thing? What kind of place is this? What else would I find here--I was almost afraid to even look around.  

After a few minutes I calmed down and wondered about that little white rabbit -- what could she be up to and how was she celebrating International Rabbit Day?

I decided to rejoin the party, but it was kind of weird because I already left once, so I had to find my chance to get back in, sneaky rabbit style. Oh! There's that little guy again. I hope she doesn't see me or give those funny looks.

 

So I made it back in and started having a pretty good time. I was making new friends and trying new things. This was my day...no this was our day, a day for us rabbits. Maybe there wasn't any reason for me to be scared afterall. But then everything changed.

 

It happened in a flash. I went up to this big guy to say what's up. "Hey, what's up?" I think that's exactly the words I used. All the sudden, I felt his head on top of mine, and it seemed like something was wrong, so I tried to get away. Then out of nowhere, that grey rabbit who took off his clothes in front of me popped up and I bumped into him, and I don't know why, but I just kept running and before I knew it there was that big guy again, chasing after me. At that point, something inside of me snapped. I can't explain what it was, but there was a part of me that said 'run, Albi, run' and there was a part of me that said 'Albi, you are a ninja rabbit'. I don't remember exactly what happened, but all I know is that I moved faster than I had ever moved before and pulled off moves that I didn't even realize I knew. Then it was all over. Just like that. 

 

And that is how International Rabbit Day unfolded. I started the day thinking I was just a normal little white rabbit, but by the end of the day, I realized just how mysterious I really am. I am Albi: a riddle wrapped inside a rabbit riddle, wrapped inside a carrot.

 

 

 

Sunday
Sep302012

No. 6 - Emergency emergency!

Uh oh. I don't feel so good. I was hopping around in the morning, eating hay and saying my daily hello to my pet horse. But then all the sudden I had to lie down and I could barely move or breathe. I couldn't eat or drink either, not even yogurt chips. I sprawled out to stretch out my stomach. ughhh...

 

Luckily, my servants came home and took me to the hospital. I wasn't so keen about being put in a cardboard ice chest but a rabbit's got to do what a rabbit's got to do. There's a 24-hour emergency room not too far from me. 

There were about two other patients before me. I saw a dog lying on the floor. Even though he is my natural enemy, I still felt sorry for that guy. If I didn't feel so sick, I would have tried to inspire him to stand up. Get up dumb dog! Here's a picture of me in the waiting room. I didn't have the appetite to eat that plant in the waiting room, even though it looked like something I would normally eat or at least destroy.

From the looks of it, these guys weren't just quacks. 

I had to wait awhile because there was a dog undergoing some serious surgery next door. That and most of the technicians here are allergic to rabbits (I think they were just scared that I might hit them with my paws). I ended up getting hydration fluids and stomach medicine. That crazy doctor punched a giant hole in my back, but I felt SO great afterwards. Like a million bales of hay. Maybe she gave me rabbit steroids. I left the hospital with was some mussed up fur on my back from the shot they gave me. That was not great. You would've thought that they would have given me a lollipop or a yogurt chip afterwards. 

 

But I'm all good now. Thanks to the good people at VERG North. And get well soon you stupid dogs. 

Tuesday
Sep182012

No. 5 - Vote A-L-B-I

Hi folks.

It's an Election Year and we're less than 50 days away from the big day. I've been campaigning aggressively and worked it hard in Washington DC this week.

Yes, you heard that right. I'm running for the post of National Rabbit. 

 

 

A favorite supporter of mine stopped by to chat. I like her a lot. She practices helmet safety at all times.

 

My teeth are getting dry from smiling so long for the members of the press organizations.

 

Here I am next to the Supreme Court. Albi, the Guardian of Liberty. 

 

A picture of me snapped after I gave my speech. Here is a transcript if you are interested:

My fellow critters. My name is Albi. And I am running for the office of National Rabbit. There are some things that you may not know about rabbits. We are more than just creatures who sneak in your garden and eat stuff. And we are more than just things to pet. We are small, but proud; we have big hearts and we are mostly litter trained. I would be proud to represent all living creatures...even chickens. For many years, the bald eagle has been the national animal. But the eagle is retiring soon ... he is getting tired and balding (pause for laughter). We need something new and someone cute. So vote for me, Albi. That's A-L-B-I, Albi. Thank you.

 

Tuesday
Aug142012

No. 4 - When Eating, Eat. When Hopping, Hop.

After I came back from that rabbit meetup group, I started to really think deep thoughts about life. Why was I feeling so shy in front of those other rabbits? What is the meaning of hay? Who is Albi... the real Albi? And is there more to life than fancy casinos and posh hotel rooms?

I decided that I needed to find myself and my true nature, so I went to a Zen retreat to meditate and rediscover the Way of the rabbit.

 

I emptied my mind of all the hustle and bustle of city life and did not log onto the internet even once. Eventually I started to feel like a part of nature and close to the wilderness. Then I imagined if I lived out here in the upstate New York forests. Unlimited amount of hay. Boundless places to run to. Lots of places to dig. That sounded terrific! But then I also wondered who would be my friends out here? There aren't that many people living out in the woods. I imagined that I could play with other...rabbits. And if I saw other rabbits, I wouldn't be shy, I would have to try to be friends because of two things; first, I don't know anyone else out here, and secondly, friends are fun!

I suddenly thought how lonely I was out here and started thinking of home. My waterbowl isn't here, there are no yogurt chips, and I don't have my pet horse to play with. Not only that, but there are some pretty scary things out in the woods, like bears, insects and ghosts. Um...maybe I should go--where is my ride back to Brooklyn? I want to go home and see if I can look up those other rabbits.

 

Saturday
Aug042012

No. 3 - An adventure to remember

If you've been following my adventures, you know that I live in a big house, and I'm more of a city rabbit than a country rabbit. But every once in a while I get cabin fever, and I like to get out and stretch my paws. I logged onto meetup.com, and I found out that there was a rabbit meetup group in the park. So I put on my safety jacket, and off I went.

It started off pretty good. I smelled something that reminded me a little of pellets and hay.  Hmm, this isn't really that different from home, I thought, but I couldn't find any yogurt chips....

 

Then I turned around and saw a whole bunch of other rabbits--some had spots, some were shaggy, some were little, some were big.... I started to feel really shy. I didn't know if they would like me or if they would want to talk to me. And I was scared that they might laugh at my jacket.

 

So I hid under this wooden couch I found and watched them play with each other. I kind of wanted to join them, but I didn't know what to say. I tried to think of some jokes to tell them, but I couldn't think of any.

 

So I hopped in my basket car and headed home. I was happy to go back, but I kept thinking about those other rabbits.