Time is money. But for me, I have the luxe life. Instead of a job, I am a gourmand of fine foods, including farm-to-table hay and organic pellets. Here's what a typical day looks like for me.
I'm already up in the morning. In fact, I only really get about 6 hours of sleep everyday. I'm always waiting for those guys to get up already. At my old apartment, I used to push my bowl against the cage everyday exactly at 8 o'clock, so it would make a lot of noise. Get up, lazy people.
Every morning, I am served a most delectable vegetable medley. I used to like brussel sprouts but not anymore. Lettuce, celery, broccoli, carrots, califlower, and other goodies are what I crave. It's the breakfast of champions.
What goes in comes out quick. Time for a potty break. My latrine is really a cat litter box, filled with recycled newspaper pellets. There's a homemade cardboard box on top, created to generate privacy for me.
Time for my mid-morning snooze. Buzz off, you buzzards.
Time for snacking on hay. Timothy hay is the kind I get, supposedly best for my health and digestive system. Whatever that means. It's not like I get a choice or anything. If I had access to a suggestion box, I would definitely be chucking in some apples, bananas, or other junk like that. Are you there God? It's me, Albi.
I like biting things. Even this fake piece of toast.
It's almost time for dinner, and I let EVERYONE know. I beg like crazy and run all over everybody's feet. I get cranky when I'm hungry. Don't you?
Chow time. A handful of delicious, A-grade rabbit pellets. These are good. No, not good. They are GREAT. Do you like Doritos? Then you'll love rabbit pellets!
After-dinner siestas are the way to go. Try it yourself and chillax sometime.
I dig primetime TV. And I also do like cartoons while on vacation, but that's beside the point here. The best crap happens after 9 o'clock. Smash. Boom.
Charlie Sheen, yeahhhhh. You think I'm an animal? Get a load of this guy.