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Catch Albi in Action

Albi is America's favorite celebrity. See him fight vicious enemies on his YouTube channel. Click here to check him out.

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Entries in albi rabbit (4)

Sunday
Mar312013

No. 15 - The Busiest Day of the Year

Well folks, I'm sure a lot of you were expecting some big post about Easter and all. Well, I've had just about enough of Easter, after painting and dropping off all those eggs. So I decided to enjoy a little bit of me time. After thinking so much about Albi's dream house, I figured I'd look for some sweet decorations and furniture. But only classy stuff for me, so I took a big trip to Ikea.

 

Woah, I heard about college kids and their lava lamps, but this selection had me tripping out. Am I decorating my dream house or a rabbit disco?

 

I started walking around, and this Ikea is like a casino (see previous entry on that)--you can't figure out where you're going and you keep going around in circles and have no choice but to buy stuff. How many yoga mats do I need? Probably one of each color.

 

I thought I must be dreaming, because then I found myself sinking in a pit of laughing carrots and brocolli creatures. Shut up dummies--I will eat you!

 

Hopping in endless circles and sinking in vegetable pits sure made me tired. Luckily I stumbled upon a perfect rabbit-sized bed. No Goldilocks problems for me. I wish I knew how to turn off those lights though.

 

Ikea has all kinds of wacky stuff, and they give you these giant bags to put everything in. I think I decided that all I really needed was one of these bags. Anyhow, everything about this store is crazy in the head--the guy who came up with all this must also write those instruction manuals. 

Sunday
Mar102013

No. 14 - Home is Where the Rabbit Is

I've been talking a lot about work lately. But I'm the kind of rabbit that works hard and plays hard. And when you play as hard as you work, sometimes it makes your house look bad.

It is a little embarrassing having guests over when the place is falling apart. For example, I wouldn't want anyone to see how bad my bathroom is, with a hole in the ceiling, except maybe a dog. I tried to think of a good way to repair the ceiling, so I stuck my horse in the hole. But then I realized that I still need that horse, so that's not a permanent solution.

 

I couldn't find the tools I needed to fix the roof, so I did what any handyrabbit would. I went to Lowe's, my neighborhood store.

 

Right at the front was the garden area. I tried to hide from the sales clerk who might see me snacking on some leaves. Ok, just kidding, of course I didn't eat any of these plants. They didn't look that tasty anyhow.

 

Forget about Barbie's dream house--this is Albi's dream house! Yoooo-hoo everyone, it's me, Albi!

 

Of course if I got my dream house, everyone would want to come in, and I'd have to keep them out somehow. Hmmm, this would do the trick. Beware of rabbit! He will paw you in the face!

 

Call me old-fashioned, but I still like hand-written letters from my fans (but not from the IRS). This mailbox doubles as a guest house.

 

Silly rabbit, you forgot why you came here in the first place! That roof is not going to fix itself...time to get serious. I'm ready for some heavy duty construction to fix my tattered outhouse. Now where are the power tools? 

 

Monday
Oct082012

No. 7 - International Rabbit Day

A few Saturdays ago was International Rabbit Day. This was decreed to be a day to recognize the importance and power of us rabbits. It is a day where we should be treated like royalty and be petted generously, including lavish head and lower back massages.

Now you might remember that the last time I met up with other rabbits, it didn't go so well. I got all shy and had to go home. But seeing as this was our big day, I knew that this time it would be different, and I would make awesome rabbit friends!

I started off by greeting this guy. "Hi, I like your clothes," I said.

He didn't say anything, but he took off all his clothes and ran away. Then this other rabbit who looked like a little version of me but with short ears came over and started looking at me.  She tried to crouch down real low to hide, but I saw her. "Um, hi," I said. But she didn't say anything back to me.

I started to feel confused and a little nervous. This wasn't what I expected International Rabbit Day to be like. So I figured I'd take a break and played in the garden by myself. Look, I have a green moustache! I'm in disguise!

What is this thing? What kind of place is this? What else would I find here--I was almost afraid to even look around.  

After a few minutes I calmed down and wondered about that little white rabbit -- what could she be up to and how was she celebrating International Rabbit Day?

I decided to rejoin the party, but it was kind of weird because I already left once, so I had to find my chance to get back in, sneaky rabbit style. Oh! There's that little guy again. I hope she doesn't see me or give those funny looks.

 

So I made it back in and started having a pretty good time. I was making new friends and trying new things. This was my day...no this was our day, a day for us rabbits. Maybe there wasn't any reason for me to be scared afterall. But then everything changed.

 

It happened in a flash. I went up to this big guy to say what's up. "Hey, what's up?" I think that's exactly the words I used. All the sudden, I felt his head on top of mine, and it seemed like something was wrong, so I tried to get away. Then out of nowhere, that grey rabbit who took off his clothes in front of me popped up and I bumped into him, and I don't know why, but I just kept running and before I knew it there was that big guy again, chasing after me. At that point, something inside of me snapped. I can't explain what it was, but there was a part of me that said 'run, Albi, run' and there was a part of me that said 'Albi, you are a ninja rabbit'. I don't remember exactly what happened, but all I know is that I moved faster than I had ever moved before and pulled off moves that I didn't even realize I knew. Then it was all over. Just like that. 

 

And that is how International Rabbit Day unfolded. I started the day thinking I was just a normal little white rabbit, but by the end of the day, I realized just how mysterious I really am. I am Albi: a riddle wrapped inside a rabbit riddle, wrapped inside a carrot.

 

 

 

Monday
Jun042012

No. 1 - My Review of the Trump Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City

Hi my followers, it's your friend, Albi. It's summertime, and you're probably thinking about all the fun things that to do, like water balloon fights, eating watermelon and mowing the lawn. But nothing says summer like going to the casino to win tons of sweet monies!

Atlantic City is not as good as Disneyland, but you can still win some cool prizes there, like money. I don't really need any more money because I am already have a lot of hay and stuff, but everyone needs a little excitement, including small animals.

Here's the view from my suite.

Most people except for Bill Gates have to check into a hotel. But not me! I get in for free, special rabbit rate! I don't know why, but maybe it's because people in a casino want to be near my foot because it's super lucky. So there I was, traveling in style--white glove service in a new paper bag, directly escorted from my cardboard boxcar, which drives itself wherever I wanna go.

My room was pretty sweet.  I got my own bed, of course, and unlimited pellets. I was going to call for room service, but they did not have any timothy hay--better get to work on that Mr. Trump! One thing the Donald got right was a nice big mirror that I could use to admire myself. I was looking pretty good, and so was I, I must say!

 

I made some gamblings, and sure enough, my lucky foot helped everyone. When I went into the big gamble room, I could hear all kinds of win bells ringing because of the good fortune I brought everyone! I could hear how excited everyone was. They were so super happy about winning money that they forgot to say thank you to me, but that's ok.

All in all, it was a great vacation. The hotel was great (four out of five carrots) and the money was great too (five out of five carrots). See you in Vegas!

Here's my driver taking a quick snapshot of me. I've got some serious bedhead going on.