Entries in funny (5)
Vive le Albi! Today is Bastille Day, and even though I don't really know what it's all about, I know that all the French people in my neighborhood are in a good mood and have come out to celebrate by wearing funny hats and carrying fancy umbrellas.
Not many of you may know this, but I am named after a small town in France named, you guessed it, Albi! I haven't been there, but I would like to visit. I hear that it is small and lovely, kind of like me.
In France, people like to play football. But that doesn't mean they tackle each other and then eat Doritos after it's over. It means that they kick a ball and chase after each other. Which team am I on, guys?
Want to know what's as good as cronuts? Fancy pastries that they flew all the way from Brittany, France. They must have had a whole big plane full of these things. If I could have snuck on that flight, when they opened the cargo, all they'd find is a big fat rabbit.
But at the festival, the pastries only got second prize. First prize went to me, Albi, for having the best French spirit and being the most popular thing to celebrate. Thanks everyone!
Back in the olden days in France, if you messed with the wrong fella, you'd get your head chopped off with this guillotine. But now, it can be used for more useful purposes, like making a salad for lunch. Check me out as I make this carrot a little more exciting. Don't have a boring carrot; don't have a boring life!
Then it was time for me to do a little judging at this petanque match. The object is to throw the balls in the sand and then stare at them for as long as you can. Hey, you with the hat, no cheating!
Happy Bastille Day everyone!
Hello tall readers,
I recently discovered some fanmail sitting in my inbox. Sorry I could not get back any sooner. My servants have been busy lately. I am training them to watch more Downton Abbey so they get the message.
Letter from Li-Ling:
I love the blog and rabbit albi is so cute sooooooooo cute LOLZ
Thanks alot, Li-Ling. I will send you a special message. Watch out in your inbox!
Letter from Ashley:
Hey Albi, i am a huge fan, my friend showed me your blog and i think its really cool and funny. I never thought that i would like to read these kind of blogs but now all i do is reread your blog every day. you are my role model !!! thanks Albi for reading this. i hope you answer back.
Hi Ashley! Thank you for your neat-o message. Is this picture good enough of an answer back?
Letter from Pokke + Tomoko:
Hallo. My name is Pokke.
I'm a gray rabbit with a white dot on my right shoulder like a pocket, so my servant Tomoko call me "Pokke".
Pokke means pocket in baby's word in Japan.
I try to send this message from Japan.
Because, I am deeply grateful for your interesting blog.
Tomoko starts to study English again to understand your blog deeply.
If she improve in her English and her salary rises, I will get more good quality celery and cabbage.
We are looking forward to your interesting news.
We wish you the best of luck with everything.
Please give our best regards to your servants.
Pokke + Tomoko
Hello to my Japanese friends! Your letter is very nice and I like it a lot. I will try to think of more things to put on my blog. Thank you for recognizing my servants. I like them but sometimes, I wish they would work harder. Like massage my paws after dinner.
P.S. Maybe if your salary does not rise fast enough, Pokke can get a job at a rabbit café so that he can get more celery and cabbage.
This job at the rabbit café does not look so tough. There are lots of servants to feed him.
Keep the letters coming! I'm also available to give you advice based on my rabbit experiences.
Well folks, I'm sure a lot of you were expecting some big post about Easter and all. Well, I've had just about enough of Easter, after painting and dropping off all those eggs. So I decided to enjoy a little bit of me time. After thinking so much about Albi's dream house, I figured I'd look for some sweet decorations and furniture. But only classy stuff for me, so I took a big trip to Ikea.
Woah, I heard about college kids and their lava lamps, but this selection had me tripping out. Am I decorating my dream house or a rabbit disco?
I started walking around, and this Ikea is like a casino (see previous entry on that)--you can't figure out where you're going and you keep going around in circles and have no choice but to buy stuff. How many yoga mats do I need? Probably one of each color.
I thought I must be dreaming, because then I found myself sinking in a pit of laughing carrots and brocolli creatures. Shut up dummies--I will eat you!
Hopping in endless circles and sinking in vegetable pits sure made me tired. Luckily I stumbled upon a perfect rabbit-sized bed. No Goldilocks problems for me. I wish I knew how to turn off those lights though.
Ikea has all kinds of wacky stuff, and they give you these giant bags to put everything in. I think I decided that all I really needed was one of these bags. Anyhow, everything about this store is crazy in the head--the guy who came up with all this must also write those instruction manuals.
I've been talking a lot about work lately. But I'm the kind of rabbit that works hard and plays hard. And when you play as hard as you work, sometimes it makes your house look bad.
It is a little embarrassing having guests over when the place is falling apart. For example, I wouldn't want anyone to see how bad my bathroom is, with a hole in the ceiling, except maybe a dog. I tried to think of a good way to repair the ceiling, so I stuck my horse in the hole. But then I realized that I still need that horse, so that's not a permanent solution.
I couldn't find the tools I needed to fix the roof, so I did what any handyrabbit would. I went to Lowe's, my neighborhood store.
Right at the front was the garden area. I tried to hide from the sales clerk who might see me snacking on some leaves. Ok, just kidding, of course I didn't eat any of these plants. They didn't look that tasty anyhow.
Forget about Barbie's dream house--this is Albi's dream house! Yoooo-hoo everyone, it's me, Albi!
Of course if I got my dream house, everyone would want to come in, and I'd have to keep them out somehow. Hmmm, this would do the trick. Beware of rabbit! He will paw you in the face!
Call me old-fashioned, but I still like hand-written letters from my fans (but not from the IRS). This mailbox doubles as a guest house.
Silly rabbit, you forgot why you came here in the first place! That roof is not going to fix itself...time to get serious. I'm ready for some heavy duty construction to fix my tattered outhouse. Now where are the power tools?